Introducing my book!

The following short essay is taken from the back cover, inside panel, or introduction to the book I am getting ready to publish. Does it make sense? Do you want to read the book now? Any suggestions? If you want to help with the final edit/design or promotion, let me know!

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Simple subscription to a set of ideas requires no sacrifice from individuals and thus has no power to change their nature. Therefore, theories and principles constructed through careful study and observation do not carry the power to transform a life. That which has no power to change an individual has been drained of its ability to impact the world.

Thus, those who wish to encourage transformation in the world around them through the imposition of a philosophical identity must first demonstrate its value by personal application of its fundamental principles. Though the definitions of value vary with every individual, the prize of a successful life, which these principles are meant to produce, remains unchanged across individual and cultural distinctives.

This book outlines a way of life by which every individual can realize the full potential of his or her success. Unique among its peers, its standard of value has no limits, and encompasses the entire human experience. At its core, the philosophy outlined here derives its value from the application of Christian doctrines to the experience of life.

Because the application is imperfect through the author's life and experience, it transcends the limited usefulness of academic theory and sheds light on the foundational truths that hide in between the lines in the form of faith, hope, and love. Though the story presents evidence of their existence, these truths can only reveal themselves as the individual pursues a relationship with their creator. Thus, even for the author, this story is only the beginning of the adventure.

The Logic of Doubt

October, 2011 - An excerpt from my story

 My brothers do not be dismayed when you face trials of many kinds for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance hope, and hope makes not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is in us (Romans 5:4-5). 

I used to have a much stronger sense of faith. I knew that the beliefs I had were right, that the principles I believed were true, that the actions I took were appropriate, and that those things I dismissed as false had no relevance to my life.

 In the process of change, I have forced myself to remain open to new ideas, to new ways of life, and to new knowledge. Now, I have a choice before me to continue this openness. Does staying open require me to doubt what I already know? Do my actions in acquiring knowledge require me to abandon what I already believe?

 I think that I want to believe that what I believe is truth is actually true and then build my life and justify my actions by it.  However, I do not want to cut myself off into another bubble of self-created, self-justified truth that only I believe and that is actually false.  

 Recently I have realized that I thought my trust in Jesus was absolutely at the core of who I am. I thought that I chose to trust in Him instead of in my own reason and knowledge. However, I made that decision to trust with full knowledge and reason of what it meant. Therefore I still have grounds to question whether I made a wise or a foolish decision. At times I feel it was the best choice I ever made. At other times, I wonder if there could be another choice. I live my life by the decision I’ve made, but I do not stop wondering if another way could be better.

I suppose part of the reason for this doubt is my constant pursuit of the truth – or what I think is the truth - that exists out there somewhere yet beyond my reach.  I still think I need to find it; still think I need to have a more complete knowledge of what is not truth in order to fully appreciate what I believe is truth.

Perhaps I assume that what I believe becomes for me that which is true. Specifically, I define truth in my mind, then believe this truth with my heart. Because of this assumption, I don’t trust what I believe to be true. Or at least some part of me doesn’t.

I want to believe, want to be secure, and want to know the truth. One part of me says that when I find the truth I will believe it. Another part of me wants to believe that I already know the truth and wonders why I constantly doubt whether I actually do know the truth. Yet a third part of me wants to be apathetic and not really care whether I know the truth or not – after all life is about living, not knowing.

"Life is not about the right answers, but about the right relationship" – Molly Reich

The Prison of Religion

In reflection this morning, I recalled once again the great freedom that I have discovered after finally entrusting my soul completely to God. As I read about the work God has done in my heart in the Bible and other materials, I wonder why it took so long for me to reach this point when the path was so obvious. The nation of Israel provides the perfect example of my own stumbling. The law was given to lead them to righteousness through faith, but they stumbled by attempting to fulfill it by their own works.

In my Christian experience, I recall reading through books and hearing the idea of surrendering to God. Of letting go and letting Him take control of my life. I knew from trial and error that attempting to be a good Christian was really difficult, but I thought that I could eventually achieve a more ideal state if I figured out the right steps to follow. Unfortunately, all of the steps that I thought were right required me to earn for myself what Christ has already offered for free. In my pursuit of holiness, I turned my back on what was Holy, despised the gift of salvation, and even tried to take the position of God.  Because it was derived from my own efforts, my Christianity looked good to the church, but had no heart.

The nice things I did for others out of duty became nothing because they were not accompanied by love. The smile I carried on my face only reflected the joy I knew I was supposed to have, and the peace I claimed to hold required such constant attention to maintain that I knew it would be gone shortly. Worst of all, I turned the God I claimed to serve into little more than a genie who failed at granting wishes, a judge who required more than I could ever pay, and a servant who by reason of His own laws would have to grant me access to heaven because of the knowledge I had obtained.

This is the point at which I stumbled. I had faith in my own understanding of the methods by which I could procure my own salvation. I knew that salvation was only available because of God’s grace and Jesus sacrifice, but I never placed my faith entirely in these two incredible facts. In this way, I turned God’s incredible blessing into my own incredible burden and insulted the cross through my inordinate sense of pride that I claimed was ‘biblical.’

Though I spent hours pouring through books on doctrine and theology to support my beliefs, I soon came to understand that every person I read had a slightly different understanding of who God was and how one could obtain His blessings. Even so, I desperately assaulted the philosophies that were incompatible with my own. Usually these had to deal with eschatology, baptism, church traditions, and highly controversial topics like predestination. If I could not prove to myself or to someone else that the alternatives to my methods would not work, I became uncomfortable with my own beliefs and began to worry about my ultimate end. The only glimmer of light that fell into this dark world vanished when I came to realize that many people do not believe in the idea of eternal security.

Only after this point, when I lost faith in my own ability to procure my salvation, did I acquire the humility that is necessary for one to place his faith in the goodness of God for salvation. 

What is truth?