Introducing my book!

The following short essay is taken from the back cover, inside panel, or introduction to the book I am getting ready to publish. Does it make sense? Do you want to read the book now? Any suggestions? If you want to help with the final edit/design or promotion, let me know!

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Simple subscription to a set of ideas requires no sacrifice from individuals and thus has no power to change their nature. Therefore, theories and principles constructed through careful study and observation do not carry the power to transform a life. That which has no power to change an individual has been drained of its ability to impact the world.

Thus, those who wish to encourage transformation in the world around them through the imposition of a philosophical identity must first demonstrate its value by personal application of its fundamental principles. Though the definitions of value vary with every individual, the prize of a successful life, which these principles are meant to produce, remains unchanged across individual and cultural distinctives.

This book outlines a way of life by which every individual can realize the full potential of his or her success. Unique among its peers, its standard of value has no limits, and encompasses the entire human experience. At its core, the philosophy outlined here derives its value from the application of Christian doctrines to the experience of life.

Because the application is imperfect through the author's life and experience, it transcends the limited usefulness of academic theory and sheds light on the foundational truths that hide in between the lines in the form of faith, hope, and love. Though the story presents evidence of their existence, these truths can only reveal themselves as the individual pursues a relationship with their creator. Thus, even for the author, this story is only the beginning of the adventure.

The River

Before the clock changes and I begin the second day of my 24^th year of life, all I can say is ‘thank you.’ I have discovered beauty that I could never imagine. Hope that I never dreamed of has filled my heart. What I had come to know at my last birthday, I have now come to live. I am awash in a river of love. Carried about by its currents, I know neither my destination nor my course.

I have walked the pathways beside this river wondering at the fools who chose to cast themselves into the water instead of simply refreshing themselves with its goodness on occasion. I knew my pathway and chose my destination carefully – that is, I chose to always stay where I could access the life-giving water of this river if I should need it. However, what I really wanted was so far from its banks that I would never reach it unless the river changed its course.

I tried to dig many channels and streams to direct the water along the route I wanted to go, but in my riverbeds, the water became muddy and undrinkable. It was still water from the river, but it could not satisfy my thirst when I had brought it so far away from its source. Eventually, I discovered, I could not have the water without the river. I could not have the river without giving up the destination I had chosen.

In despair, I began to walk the pathway beside the river and wonder where it might lead. While others floated past on swirling currents, I struggled to continue my journey in the hot sun beside them. My heart could not yet decide between the sweetness of the water and the temptations of my dreams that lay so far from it.

I cannot say why I did not recognize the foolishness of this decision until the day that I stumbled on the road for what seemed the 100^th time. Why this time was different, I will never know. Instead of getting back up and continuing my journey, I realized that my heart must choose one direction or the other. I would leave the river behind me, or I would jump in.

I will never know what would have happened if I had turned my back to the river and followed the dreams I had carried for so long. At times the current that now carries me seems to rush toward what I once desired, but even then, I desire only to be more fully immersed in the water. So I wait, content to see where this rushing water will carry me, excited to explore its endless depth, and eager to invite others to join the experience. For now I have seen that every dream finds its fulfillment in this one thing, every accomplishment is made possible by its power, and every desire is satisfied in this water.

This year, I gave up walking. Everything I wanted turned out to be unsatisfying compared to throwing myself in the river and letting it carry me to its destination. As I face this next year, I realize that I have just been launched over the edge of a waterfall and cannot see where my journey will continue. But even here, I am surrounded by water that has itself come over the edge of the cliff with me. It continues to carry me and remains unchanging even though my experience of it will never be the same. If every person must take a journey through this life, there is only one way I could possibly recommend.

It is finished!

     The question of faith is not some work that still remains to be done. There is not a required decision, process, or ritual that must be completed properly before a person can be saved. The question of faith is a choice whether a person will act as if Jesus has truly completed all the requirements for salvation. 

     Seeing others through the eyes of grace, we see them Not as incomplete but whole. Not as in process, but complete. We see what others cannot: their ability to walk in freedom, truth, and light. They are not prisoners bound in chains who we have come to free; they are free men who willingly sit in prison because it is ‘safe’ and ‘comfortable.’ In their hearts, they know there is a world outside to explore, adventures to be had, and life to be lived. Yet, they choose to submit to their fear and pretend that they are unable to leave the prison that surrounds them. They are free, but they wrap themselves in chains and try to convince themselves that they really can’t get out. What foolishness! The chains have been broken. There is nothing left in between the individual and the promise of daylight that streams through the open prison door. 

     We enter this prison of mind to give the willing captives something to hold on to as they begin the journey of freedom. When we speak words of love and truth, they need not listen to fear. When we speak of trust and satisfaction, they need not worship comfort. When we love with unconditional acceptance, they need not wonder what the others will say, or accept the mocking laughter that will follow them to the door. When we act as if they are free, we shatter the illusion that they are captive and give them the courage to walk with those that have no chains.

     Jesus came that people might have life and have it more abundantly. As we live in this truth, we can begin to share it with others who do not yet know the blessing it holds. As we share its truth, the desire to experience it will begin to grow in those whose hearts already know its reality. As that desire grows, its reality will begin to overpower the illusion that people often choose to accept in its place. As the illusion is overpowered, another relationship is restored. As the relationship is restored, another person is brought from darkness to light, from death to life, from sin to righteousness, and from pride to humility. Jesus Christ is glorified as His gift becomes the means by which yet another person comes to live in the freedom He has won! 

It is finished, the work is done. 

Take your freedom, run.

Bound by nothing, through the door.

Seek, find, ask for more.

Nothing lacking, all loss is gain.

Know the truth, life, way.

Holding loosely, what is received.

More will come, believe.

Imperfect start, infinite end.

Complete as its begun.

 No price to pay, the promise done

Fight beginning, won!

 

Christian Lifestyle

For many Christians there are two separate aspects of life: relationship with God and relationship with the real world. Unfortunately, the two seldom mix. I want to figure out how a relationship with God translates into a lifestyle that can serve as a contrast to the lifestyle created by the world. Unless I actually take the risk of practicing and discovering if what I believe is true, I do not have the right to preach it to someone else.

In part this is motivated by the irrelevance of the Christian lifestyle enjoyed in Suburban America. When I saw the poor people in the countryside in China, I knew that the gospel I carried was not good news to them. The gospel their country preached to them was a big house, plenty of money and no problems. My message was no different, except that I could promise a happy ending (a nice house, plenty of money, and no problems in a perfect world called heaven). Oops. Why would my message have any more pull than the other one? The only reason? Fear of a place called Hell.

While salvation is key to the gospel, the goal of salvation is restoration. Jesus is the second Adam, the reset button, the second chance for mankind to walk with God in this experience of life. If walking with God is my objective, then the standard of value by which I engage with life will be different. My value comes not from economic productivity. My Christianity is not part of my career. My career is my Christian life. What I do in the process of walking with God is irrelevant. If I walk with God as a server at a restaurant, a street sweeper in China, an executive in Ireland, or a gas station attendant in Minnesota, I am successful. I do not have to have a fancy house, a nice car, plenty of clothes, expensive food, or even a good reputation. I do not have to be distinguished as a Christian among those I serve. I simply have to love God in response to His love for me – and as I come to know His love, I will find myself loving those around me.

When it comes to a career, I no longer play that game. My career is my faith. When it comes to a retirement account, I no longer invest in dollars. My reward is incorruptible. When it comes to success, I have a new definition. My boasting is that I know God. When it comes to money, I am no longer a servant. My Father created the world and owns all its money.

I am setting up my life in a way that requires God to be real. Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs shows religion near the top of the pyramid as part of self-actualization. Christianity is meant to be the pyramid. If I cannot trust God for my basic survival needs, how can I trust him for my identity, love Him in relationship, or depend on Him for my future?

Even as I think about this, I realize that I still trust in my own ability and intelligence to care for myself. I know these are gifts from God for me to use. For the past several weeks, I have devoted these to investing in the kingdom of God without really thinking of how I can use them to care for myself. It may be that this is the way I give these to Him. I still presume that if God does not come through in the way I expect, I can use them to somehow get by. Every day that I submit these to the service of His kingdom, I show my trust in Him as my sole provider. He is everything that I need.

Everlasting Rest

As I take to my knees to write what is in my heart, I desire to understand what I am giving up for. 
This sacrifice of my life, this pain, this letting go, must be something I do for a great reward.

The joy set before him, led Jesus to die. The cross where He suffered is now where I died.

Long ago, I gave up the life I once had, to take from Him what He died to give.

Now, in fear that by following in to things I do not know – that I may never understand,

I am forced to once again trust Him with my life and reach out with empty hands.

The good that I had, I left all behind. Now with nothing, O Lord, I come.

Give, give me all that I desire. I desire more of You. I desire only You.

My one great reward and my one great treasure is to know You, to hear Your voice.

Nothing inside me understands this call. It seems like I have given up the world.

Sometimes I wonder if I will look back one day and wonder what fantasy it was,

That drives me to give everything away. Abandoning the life I could have, every day.

Like the ancient ones of faith, I desire a kingdom that is not of clay,

But I don’t know if, like them, I can spend my entire life waiting for someday.

The pressures around me to conform to the attitudes and lifestyles of normality,

Remind me at once of the gravity of my situation, the futility of life, the morality of choice…

And, by the grace of God, the absolute hopelessness of my situation apart from Christ.

If I were not first drawn into the desire to have what is best, I could not enter rest.

But the rest eludes me in the struggle of war. To keep the faith is tough.

When life is easy, I get careless. When it is hard, I am tempted to let go.

But one thing keeps me holding on, pressing in. I have found a treasure in a field,

An unshakeable kingdom, a promise that is sure, and a fortune that will not be taken away.

In order to buy, I must give up all that I possess. Including my life. Nothing less.

This payment not to buy, but rather be given. The reward is priceless - sacred by blood.

For me this treasure is free, but I cannot with hands that are full of pleasure

And a heart that is full of pride, find room for a vision that could overflow my life.

So giving up, emptying out, losing what most desire to gain, I complete the suffering, know joy.

I buy with a great cost what is already mine to possess: Salvation through Jesus Christ. 
Everlasting Rest.

The Sleeping Superhero

He had been, he thought back to the early days, like the unknown superhero who unable to find his destiny among that of those he did not identify with waited endlessly for an unknown opportunity to present itself. For what, he wondered, had his imagination pulled his heart away from the world of living into the world of fantasy? Was this invisible life really worth the sacrifice of visible? Could the pleasure derived from the days and nights spent in hours of sleep between short periods of waking dreams actually be more satisfying than the other possibility? 

In sleep only did he realize the potential locked away in his soul, yet, something inside longed for a chance to experience the feeling of victory when the sun ruled the sky. Hopelessly, he waited for the milky white of the moon to splash a pathway of light back to the world where he lived.

Perfect Rest

What a beautiful reality, where my responsibility becomes futility;

Where trying more is trying less and letting go is being blessed;

Where striving toward the perfect goal, the grander cause, not duty but delight. 

Where knowing love is all my life. My perfect rest, your perfect might.

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Laughter is the best way to express perfect rest. 

I have wanted to reach this point my whole life. All the books, all the stories, the dreams, and the moments of imagining what life could be have coalesced into a beautiful song called life. This life is no longer my own, but Christ who lives through me. My struggle to reach this place is not over, but my fight has been won. This present reality is but a glimpse of my future. It is from this place of perfect content that God will work through my life. It is not through my effort and talents, but through my rest and surrender that I will enter into the great things that God has prepared for me.

This rest does not refer to sleep or sloth, but to trust. It is the posture of my heart. As I seek to know the One who gives me life, I will discover Him through my actions, interactions and reflections. If I seek the actions, interactions and reflections that could reveal Him, I will be disappointed in my search. By seeking that which is good, I find only a reflection of that which is best. By seeking that which is best, I find that what is good makes that which is best even more beautiful. Thus, the posture of rest is one that seeks only what is best. It does not pursue the multitude of worthy causes that present themselves to me. However, in pursuit of the One who is worth everything, I will find myself undertaking many of the worthy causes.

1 Corinthians 14:1 demonstrates this subtle difference in a challenge to “Pursue love and desire spiritual gifts.” Though the demonstrations of love are desired, they are worth nothing apart from the pursuit of love. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 precedes this short phrase with the warning that actions without love are worthless. Thus, the good gifts are desired, but only one thing is pursued: LOVE!

To pursue love as a character, thought, action, or emotion would be a mistaken application of this passage. For love does not exist apart from God. 1 John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love.”

In conclusion, then, my pursuit of God - of knowing God, and walking with Him in a restored relationship - is the source of my love, which gives value to the demonstration of love. Within this framework, everything that I do receives its value from the way in which it reflects the nature of God, expands my enjoyment of who He is, and demonstrates His love to the world. I rest. I enjoy. He works through me. 

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The Logic of Doubt

October, 2011 - An excerpt from my story

 My brothers do not be dismayed when you face trials of many kinds for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance hope, and hope makes not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is in us (Romans 5:4-5). 

I used to have a much stronger sense of faith. I knew that the beliefs I had were right, that the principles I believed were true, that the actions I took were appropriate, and that those things I dismissed as false had no relevance to my life.

 In the process of change, I have forced myself to remain open to new ideas, to new ways of life, and to new knowledge. Now, I have a choice before me to continue this openness. Does staying open require me to doubt what I already know? Do my actions in acquiring knowledge require me to abandon what I already believe?

 I think that I want to believe that what I believe is truth is actually true and then build my life and justify my actions by it.  However, I do not want to cut myself off into another bubble of self-created, self-justified truth that only I believe and that is actually false.  

 Recently I have realized that I thought my trust in Jesus was absolutely at the core of who I am. I thought that I chose to trust in Him instead of in my own reason and knowledge. However, I made that decision to trust with full knowledge and reason of what it meant. Therefore I still have grounds to question whether I made a wise or a foolish decision. At times I feel it was the best choice I ever made. At other times, I wonder if there could be another choice. I live my life by the decision I’ve made, but I do not stop wondering if another way could be better.

I suppose part of the reason for this doubt is my constant pursuit of the truth – or what I think is the truth - that exists out there somewhere yet beyond my reach.  I still think I need to find it; still think I need to have a more complete knowledge of what is not truth in order to fully appreciate what I believe is truth.

Perhaps I assume that what I believe becomes for me that which is true. Specifically, I define truth in my mind, then believe this truth with my heart. Because of this assumption, I don’t trust what I believe to be true. Or at least some part of me doesn’t.

I want to believe, want to be secure, and want to know the truth. One part of me says that when I find the truth I will believe it. Another part of me wants to believe that I already know the truth and wonders why I constantly doubt whether I actually do know the truth. Yet a third part of me wants to be apathetic and not really care whether I know the truth or not – after all life is about living, not knowing.

"Life is not about the right answers, but about the right relationship" – Molly Reich

The Gift of Prophecy - my story

** Disclaimer - This post is extremely long. It goes into some detail about how I have come to understand the gift of prophecy and its usefulness to the church**

Just about 24 hours ago, one of my friends asked my about my history with the gift of prophecy. As I paused to consider my journey into this aspect of God, I thought back to Oxford where it had begun.
As part of a wonderful community of believers, I showed up to Sunday morning church meetings where a line of people waited to share the truth that God had given them. For some, this meant describing a picture, for others it meant reading a passage of scripture, for other still, it was simply a testimony of God’s grace in their lives. Sometimes the messages were for specific individuals, the whole church, or even a certain cross-section of the body. Before speaking, individuals had to receive approval from the church elders. It was cross-checked with scripture.

After awhile, I began to wonder if this practice was merely a charade. Having a ‘word’ to share was cool and it seemed like people were just making things up that sounded good. Whether or not they had heard this from God, I could not say. Even while judging the character of others, I made up several ‘words’ myself. Since I was too scared to share them, no one ever knew that I was cool too.

One Sunday evening with the gathering of college age members, the leader asked if we had learned to operate in the gift of prophecy. In my mind, prophecy was one thing only: predicting the future. The book of revelation had been written with a warning not to add to the prophecy of the book. I did not plan to bring all those curses upon myself by trying to predict the future or adding to the words of God.

I didn’t understand that while prophecy is speaking truth from God, it finds its value in application of the principles in the Bible to specific situations in a person’s life. It does not seek to add to the truth, but to apply the truth to the life of an individual or church. Even though it is not infallible like the Scripture, it requires attention to the voice of God, humility, and the boldness to share the message. The receiver should consider with prayer whether the prophecy lines up with the truth of Scripture and encourages them toward understanding God.

I don’t know if this was explained then, but most of us had never used the gift of prophecy to encourage someone else, so an elder of the church was going to walk us through the steps. First, we received sheets of paper. Each paper had a number written on it that matched the number on another sheet of paper.

Each of us would spend time in prayer and then write down whatever came to mind first: a picture, a verse, a word, a story, an idea – really anything. I was one of the two people with the number 11 on his or her sheet of paper. The story I wrote down was about a train travelling through a dark tunnel. There was no light to be seen on either end. It was a long tunnel, but just around the corner from where the train was, a person could see a hint of light at the exit. For now though, the tunnel was pitch black because the train had no lights. Even though it couldn’t see, the train continued on guided by the rails on a safe path to its destination.

The application of this idea was to show that even when we don’t know what is going on around us, God places the track securely beneath our wheels. If we keep on moving forward, we can trust that He will take us where He wants us to go.  For the guy I gave this to, it encouraged him in a struggle he was having to see God’s direction for His life. He didn’t have to know all the answers, just stick to the track, trust, and keep moving forward.

His word for me is one that I still do not fully comprehend. I pasted the paper in my journal and have copied it here: “You are not my puppet, you are my child. I want to work with you, not control you. This is an adventure I want to share with you.”

Since receiving it, I have come to appreciate more fully the cooperative relationship that I have with my Creator. This life and our interaction is like a dance. This prophetic word as well as the one that I shared could both have been useful to anyone and could have also been made up by anyone, so I didn’t think to much about it until my friend asked me about my prophetic history and I suddenly remembered that this was the first time I had ever tried something like that. The strange part is how well I remember the word I received.

Leaving that church shortly after, I didn’t encounter prophetic encouragement until that fall at Cedarville. That fall, I became friends with people who believed that God still communicated with people. My story of learning to hear God speak is written elsewhere, however, I want to note a couple things that apply. First, I didn’t know God’s voice when I first used prophecy to encourage someone. Second, even after I learned to hear God speak, I did not use prophecy to encourage others right away. Third, even though I know God speaks, I don’t always prophetically encourage other people, nor do I always hear Him correctly when He speaks to me. In light of this, I always encourage those who hear me speak to consider what I say in light of what they already know of God and His word. By the same right, I cannot say that people who do not know they hear God speak, cannot prophetically encourage others with truth.

In the fall of 2011, I remember one night of prayer in which a friend of mine wrote down six distinct words for certain individuals. He gave them to a specific person with an explanation of their meaning and significance. My word was “little, big joy.” In many respects this word has now come true. I responded to this by encouraging my friend with the words that he was like a lion in his relentless charge forward after the things of God and his courage in taking others with him.
At the time, I still didn’t understand that this sort of encouragement was prophetic. In this respect, anything said for the purpose of building someone up in the things of God could be called prophetic encouragement.

In December, I learned to hear God speak – or first recognized that I could hear him speak. This led to a month of prayer in which I experienced conversation with God for the first time. It was talking, listening, discussing, arguing, fighting, and simply hanging out. It was a lot of fun. I changed a lot. Sometimes while I was praying, I would hear certain things that I knew I had to tell someone else. Most of the time, I was too scared to do it, but every once and a while I would work up the courage to share and was always deeply encouraged.

The second significant step in my prophetic development occurred in February. After staying late in a room in order to pray, I waited wondering why I was still there. When a friend of mine came past, she needed help and I asked her to meet me that night for prayer. That night as I prayed for her, I began to share her identity in Christ. As I prayed aloud, I began to realize that the words coming out of my mouth were not mine. I had no idea where they were coming from. I usually struggled to pray aloud. But now as I spoke, I was encourage by what I said. They were truth, they were pure, they were beautiful and eloquent. In fact, this was so much fun and so encouraging that I decided to pray 
for people whenever possible and began stopping anywhere to have a word of prayer with someone. Even though I liked doing this, I sometimes didn’t want to pray with a certain person when I knew I should. Every time I did I was blessed. Without realizing it, I had started to practice the gift of prophecy and I didn’t even know how it worked. This is the same thing that happened with the gift of tongues – or with learning to pray in tongues if there is a distinction.

Continuing the story, I learned a new aspect of prophecy when I exchanged questions with two other students at the Desperation Leadership Acadamy. The two students would pray for my request and I would pray for theirs. We would both share the answers we got with each other. That turned out very cool. As I took my focus off my problems and lifted up someone else in prayer, I found myself with a new perspective on my situation and a loving desire for that person that surrounded the words of encouragement I had to give them from Jesus.

This was the last time I can remember using the gift – though I didn’t know it was a gift at the time – until November. It was about 5 months. Those five months are incredibly precious as they are a time when I really struggled to see God and what He was doing in my life as I waited on His promise. In many ways I was alone spiritually and did not have the context of a church where I could practice this gift.

On the 11^th of November, I spent 12 hours with a church that became my family. Several people prayed for me and encouraged me with this gift. At the end of the night, a new friend prayed for me to receive the gift of praying in tongues. Although I will go into more details with an essay on that subject, that was the first night when I forgot how to speak in English, yet could not stop the ideas and words from coming out of my mouth. It was a bit overwhelming. Even when I needed to pray for a friend, it was difficult to keep my speech in a language she could understand. In this prayer – my first for another person in this place, I prophetically encouraged this younger sister to seek to know more of God and to never be satisfied with the way in which she now understood Him.

Over the next two months, I began to pray for other people again, and even began to practice the gift of prophecy intentionally. In doing this, I would have a specific person in mind to encourage, pray for what they needed and then speak what I received.  It was a safe environment where others were learning the same things and didn’t really care if you messed up, so I decided to try it.

One night, several of us were sitting in a circle and decided to speak ‘a word’ over the person to our right. We would pray for something to share that we didn’t usually get. If we usually shared prophetic pictures, we would ask for a word, if we usually shared a word, we would ask for an idea. It was a chance to stretch.

Because I have an active imagination, it is easy for me to get and describe pictures to people. That night, though I wanted an idea. I didn’t get one. I got the first part of an idea, so when my turn came, I began to speak. As I developed what I had understood, I received the rest of the idea and finished it. It described a struggle this person had as well as what they could do to overcome it. Because I had no idea about this specific situation, yet spoke directly to it, I realized that purposeful encouragement through prayer and prophecy involved something more than simply knowing good things to share. Someone must be behind all of it.

Whoever spoke to me shared ‘a word’ that I have been learning for some time: rest. Simply enjoying being with God.

A month later, this had become a somewhat normal practice for me, but God had a plan for proving just how cool this gift can be. In a small group meeting, a friend asked me about my history with prophecy and I told her my story up to this point. Telling my story began to wonder why I still had doubts about the legitimacy of this gift. I had seen it work. I had participated in encouraging others in ways I did not know they needed. What was my question?  

Even with this mindset, I used prophecy to encourage several people to walk in the grace of God and trust in His timing. The 'words' that I received from others inspired me to try something new and I spent about an hour doing something I can't do. I was playing the piano and singing at the same time. After a rough, nervous start, I was able to worship in the presence of God with my gift of music and encourage others in the process.

Around 1am, I was ready to go home, but I wanted to ask the two worship leaders to give me a word of encouragement before I left. Sitting down with them and another friend, I was not prepared for what happened next. I just wanted to get a quick 'word' from the two girls, but another woman in the room began to speak in a language I could not understand. She asked us to interpret and in course, the translation was interesting and encouraging. One of the ‘words’ led to a discussion about flamingos. They are actually white birds, but we see them as pink because the red seafood that they eat dyes their feathers. One of the girls got the part about the flamingos and I understood the message that when I input God’s word, I am like the white flamingo. All that people will see when they look at me is the pink color of the food I eat. They will only see Jesus. Cool, right? 

I practiced interpreting another encouragement that was in a different language. I got some of the idea, but really not the gist of the prophecy. In truth, I think that believers should just speak the prophecy in the language of their hearers unless they are told to do otherwise. Like Paul said, three words in a language someone can understand is much more useful to building up the church than a thousand with a tongue if there is no interpretation. To me it still seems like prophecy in a strange language is little more than a formality if not simply a waste of time. As with everything else, my opinion on this will probably change as I see its particular effectiveness in practice.

Regardless of my opinions, I still had a word to give someone before I left. It was not in English. Grrr. Of course, I would have to stretch and push myself into yet another new thing I didn’t understand. After working up my courage, I began to speak and let the words flow from my mouth. I didn’t understand it and nobody else did. Three possible interpretations came to light bearing resemblance to each other, but none was clear. In the end, it was encouraging to the person who heard it. Mostly, though, it was good for me to have stepped into something I was extremely uncomfortable with simply because I knew I needed to obey.

The next day, God had plans for some huge surprises. He was going to prove to me that He is behind the prophetic words of encouragement that I was still skeptical about. What is the way to prove a theory? By practice! If the prophecy works in real life, then it is from God. If it doesn’t, then it is not. If two or more people agree in prophecy without knowledge of the other’s opinion or statement, then it must be more than coincidence. If I hear something, my friends hear something, and someone I don’t know hears the same thing about me, then Someone must be behind the 'word'.

Before leaving Friday night, I had heard that at work a man would be there who wasn’t looking for clothes, but was looking for hope. I would be ready to give him what he needed. I had the answer, but just needed to be watchful. Because of this warning, I was alert. I fought to stay in the presence of God and love people so that I would be ready to bless this man whenever he came. Even though I was praying for him and asking every guy I talked with what brought him in to the store, I didn't meet him. 

With only a couple hours of work left, I was walking with a pile of jeans when I met two guys from my church. They walked with me and offered to pray for me. When we looked up, there was a man standing there. The guys left, and he asked for my help. He had been there before the prayer and we had exchanged greetings. Now, he mentioned that he went to church. I knew I needed to ask him more. I don't know how I knew, but I knew this was the guy. "What brought you in," I asked. Second question, "do you have a family?" This second question led to him sharing the reasons that had brought him to the store. He had just lost his family. Serveral months ago, he had been through divorce and now was just needed to get out of his house and get restarted. I was able to encourage him, and prayed after he left. I wish I had invited him to church or offered to pray for him there, but I knew one thing, I had met the guy I was going to meet and I had been pushed right into the conversation by the other two guys who just randomly (or providentially) came through the store.  Cool.

When I walked into the church after work that evening, I asked one of my friends who this guy was in a blue shirt. His name was Tyler and he would be one of the students serving through prophetic ‘words’ that evening. This night was special because the students of ministry would pray, listen, and then speak/write/draw what they heard for the ‘names/people’ they belonged to. Some of the people, they knew. Others, they didn't know. After speaking encouragement to three men in the church, Tyler had a 'word' for the guy wearing a striped shirt sitting somewhere close to me. Since my shirt was striped, I sat with a question on my face and he responded, yes you. After looking around and seeing no one else with a striped shirt, I realized it was me long after everyone else had figured it out. How did I get so lucky? There were hundreds of people there, and I had a public word from God? That kind of stuff doesn’t happen every day.

Tyler began to speak. I see a word: “success.”  You will find success in whatever you do. God is finally bringing you into the dreams he has given you. Whatever you put your hand to will prosper...He is already putting the pieces into place. When you touch it, it will come together. You are released into the fullness of your calling.

These are some of the things that he said, but what I heard in my heart was this: Psam 1: He will be like a tree planted by streams of water, whose leaf shall not whither, and whatever he does will prosper.” Since you will not fail, what will you do? It’s time to go for it. Don’t be afraid. Step out and try big things. Attempt huge things because you will succeed. Don’t go for something simply because you need money, go for them because you want to see God do something great!

While this is cool in itself, a quick background explains why this 'word' from a guy who doesn't know me carries such weight. It is not the first time I have heard what he said. First, for two weeks I had been praying and asking for prayer about a decision I had to make. This decision came at the end of a long struggle with God in which He finally showed me that whether he chose to bless me with poverty or with riches, He would always be at the center of my life. Though riches are tempting, I could trust His grace to keep me from falling away. The previous Saturday, this understanding had led me to begin a business venture that I am extremely excited about. Second, on Friday night, several of my friends prophetically encouraged me that God had given me certain gifts and abilities that I should not keep hidden. From their 'words' I realized that I cannot disconnect who I am from what I do. I need to seek for work that emphasizes these qualities.

Finally, Saturday night, I received this word from a guy I don't know that began to shift my perspective on my career. To this point, I have considered a career mostly from the standpoint of making the money I need to live and give while I faithfully represent the Kingdom of God in whatever I do. However, this encouragement from Tyler has begun to grow into an idea that perhaps my approach to business should be one where I risk my talents and abilities in order to watch God do great things. Business becomes all about Him and not about me. The encouragement from Tyler exactly rephrased what I had received in prayer over Psalm 1 about a month earlier. It also followed my decision to begin risking my abilities in a big way the previous week. It was not something new, it was public confirmation of something I already knew. 

Three other friends of mine heard words which matched up with exactly what they had needed to hear, what I had prayed for them the night before, or what our conversations had revealed before the prophecy happened. My three friends and I collectively received about 25% of the public 'words.' I think God was trying to make a point to someone.

Although the prophecy itself was a huge blessing, it was only part of a larger blessing: God showing me how He can work through prophecy in ways that I will never understand or control. It was part of God showing me conclusively that prophecy is a way in which He speaks to others. For me, I couldn’t hear Him the first half dozen or so times that He said I was going to be successful. Eventually, I heard, but I couldn’t believe it. Then I acted on it and He confirmed this action by calling me out in the middle of the service to stand, hear this word and then receive it as Tyler led the gathering in a prayer for me. Because prophecies are a promise of what God is going to do and not what I need to stress out to accomplish I am excited to walk through this story. Well, I have definitely heard now and I am excited to move ahead into what God has planned!

The point of this story, though, is that sometimes God uses me to speak His words of encouragement to other people because I can hear his voice more clearly. Sometimes he uses others to speak His words of encouragement to me, because they are listening to Him when I am distracted. The individual always struggles to let the voice of God pass unfiltered through the lenses of his or her circumstance. Sometimes it takes a person who is removed from the situation to hear clearly and then speak the encouragement in a way they can understand. That is what happened to me and what also happens to others. 

Until I could hear God speak, I could not do this regularly. Now that I can hear Him speak, I can participate in this blessing at any time. I remember when one of my college friends would simply check out for a moment or two and then check back in with a word of encouragement to speak directly into someone’s life or circumstance. People said he had the gift of prophecy, but I was always a little skeptical and a little jealous. I hoped that sometime he would give me a prophecy so I would know whether the gift was real or not, but that never happened. Now I think I understand what was taking place.

God is always speaking, but I do not always choose to be in a place where my heart can listen. When I am listening, He does not always talk to me about me. He also cares about those around me. Sometimes they aren’t listening, sometimes he just wants to confirm something to them, and sometimes He just wants to bless me. Other times, he just wants to give me understanding about them so I can talk with Him for them. 

In conclusion, I have once again “been told.” God proves Himself to be correct and proves my doubts to be foolish. I am excited to continue walking into a fuller realization of this gift in my life and to encourage its growth in those around me.

If there was no heaven, would you still follow Jesus?

From the beginning of time, people have been waiting for evil to be crushed and the world to finally work in the way we all know it’s supposed to. For many, heaven is the final realization of this desire. Somewhere along the way, the Christian movement saw its message evolve into the bite-sized message “believe in Jesus so you can go to heaven some day.” In this transition, the good news that Jesus preached lost its distinction and became nothing more than another religion offering its adherents the chance to go to “the good place” if they will only behave, worship, or believe in a certain way.

Although we say, “Christianity is a relationship, not a religion,” how many of us actually know that to be true in the way that we live? If there was no heaven, if there was only this life, how may of us would still want a relationship with God? Does our relationship go beyond that of cause and effect (e.g. I ask Jesus into my heart, He gives me what I want [heaven, happiness, etc…])? How many of us would be fine with going to the heaven we hear about in Church even if God wasn’t there?

Perhaps part of the reason Christians today find their message lacking appeal is the gap of time between acceptance of the gospel and the final reward of heaven. Apart from fear, any intelligent person would wait until his very last minute to “trust in Jesus” because it involves the greatest amount of reward for the least amount of input.

As with any scenario, the solution is more difficult to describe than the problem.  However, I believe it requires a shift in the focus of Christianity from “believing” to “walking.” In the garden, one aspect of life differed consistently from the modern lifestyle: when man and woman had slept, worked and eaten, they spent time walking in the garden talking with God. This is the one aspect of their life that is completely obliterated by the fall into sin. When God came to talk with His friends, they were scared of Him and tried to hide. Though God in His perfect nature should have destroyed that which was now contrary to His image, He immediately began to offer promises of reassurance that He still wanted a relationship. The Biblical narrative continues from this point to show God constantly seeking a restoration of this relationship while maintaining the holiness of His character. Jesus death was required in order for God to justify His actions and stay true to His purity. At great personal cost, the Trinity made it possible for mankind to walk with God like in the first days of innocence.

This is both the blessing and the promise into which every person is called. Heaven is not the promise but a fuller realization of that promise. Walking with God is that missing piece of life that everything in a person longs to find. It is that hole in our hearts that simply ‘believing in Jesus’ is never going to fill.

If not for the joy of this ongoing relationship, what reason is there for a person to be a Christian? If we do not enjoy spending time with God right now, what makes us think we would like it any better in the place we know of as heaven?

About You

I want to write about you, but my mind keeps coming back to me. If there was something so beautiful that I couldn’t forget, I would let it capture my heart, ensnare my mind and become the only thing I obsessed about.

Instead of me, all I could see would be what had stolen my heart.

Now, I fight to know that others watch, but cannot see this beautiful reality. Themselves know of a searching, longing for what I part possess, but never knowing the true object of their affection is that which I pretend to care for less. I hold what is great as if it were only a mediocre reflection of greatness, and hold what is worthless as if it had some value.

This I confess, and know nought to change. For a prize worth winning is worth the struggle. The fight to obtain is not a curse but a blessing – if I count on grace to rise me when I fall.

Oh, that I could embrace my identity apart from the affirmation of those whose value is derived outside themselves. To recognize and walk in the freedom that I have tasted without fear of repercussions. To burn the bridges that still connect me to the life I have rejected and fix my eyes on what is changeless instead of the ephemeral opinions of those who think they see….