Grace

For the past two and a half weeks, I have found very little time to pray and even less time to reflect. But as time goes by between the moments I still spend with God, I find my attention slipping onto things that do not matter and even into religious ritual that I hope will jump-start the engine of self-motivated, successful Christian living. I begin to forget that my identity is not found in what I have or what I do, but in the love that God has for me. I forget that I am not the one who I depend on for life, for food, and for a car to drive. I forget that my relationship with God can be so much more than simply praying, acting in a certain way, or knowing certain things.

I recognize what is happening as a slip into a world that looks less and less like the kingdom of God and more like my pride, but I am too busy in pursuit of what I want to take more than a token step back in the right direction. I am learning that not only am I unable to follow God without His grace, but apart from His work, I do not even want to try.

The evil that is inside me would draw me further and further into myself, the busyness of my world, and the hollow joys of my success. Even the love that I would show to others becomes a meaningless action when I am in such a condition. 


Then like Peter who lost his focus on Jesus while walking on the water, I notice the waves around me and begin to sink. My only hope is that the Son of God will once again reach out His arm to pull me back to Him.

That is grace!