Success

How do I measure success? This question continues to haunt me even though I continue to grow more strongly in the conviction that faithful living in small things prepares a person to be faithful with larger responsibilities in the kingdom of God. When I look back on the rest of this year, how do I know that I have been successful in seeking first the kingdom of God? This is the one thing that I have defined as a goal for my life: to know God and to see His kingdom prosper here on earth.

If conventional wisdom is correct, I should be able to break this goal down into several smaller, achievable pieces that I can pursue one at a time. However, this is something like trying to manipulate a relationship using scientific principles. It just doesn’t work. The only way that I can accomplish my goal is by developing my relationship with God through everything that I do: prayer, work, Bible study, hanging out, eating. But how does one measure these things?

If it were in quantity of time spent in one or the other, it would be easy to determine success or failure. If it is the quality of each aspect that determines its effectiveness, the measurement becomes much more difficult. I would argue that the second, not the first, is the only real way to measure the growth of a relationship. Do I want to spend time in prayer? Why did I read my Bible today? What was the goal of my conversation with a friend? Was I eating in a way that God was glorified?

To stop and ask all these questions throughout the day would be not only joyless, but absolutely overwhelming. If I measure success by perfection, I will be sorely disappointed.

Thus, I tentatively conclude that two years from now I will view the intervening investment of my life as a success if at that point in time I can say with confidence that Christ is all I need, if I am living in a way that demonstrates a faith in what is unseen, and if I am loving in a way that defies human nature. Essentially, I am successful if God continues “to will and to do of His good pleasure” drawing me to Himself.

Since pursuing God is not something I initiate, but something I respond to, my responsibility for success rests largely outside my control. It is somewhere in that tricky combination of “work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you.”

My long-term success then, is not based on my careful planning, or on what I achieve financially, educationally, or even relationally. Instead, it is based on faithfulness to what I know to be true in the little things. Do not despise small things, for the kingdom of God is made up of the least of these.

Such a perspective provides an excellent counterbalance to the strongly-argued position that believers need to invest their talents wisely. Take a long-term view of how they can best prepare to serve the kingdom of God. But who knows how many years or minutes of life they have left. What if one’s entire  life is spent in preparation for a moment that never comes? What if it is not careful planning and perfect execution that provides one with wealth or power?

Ah, but here the dirty secret is revealed. For although I understand where my success truly lies, my heart would still have me pursue a faulty measurement of success through wealth or power. God, however, is not limited by my bank account, title, or connections. He only limits himself to the respect that I wish to assume His position.

While I intended to discover that there is a place for careful planning and foresight into the future, I believe this short journal has exposed my motives for pursuing such a conclusion. My long-term plans are still enslaved to the pursuit of wealth and power. Until my long-term purpose becomes nothing more than knowing Christ, long-term planning has the potential to throw me off course in my pursuit of the successful life.