Thinking Through life

I wrote this a few weeks ago and posted it here since it plays a role in the decisions I made over the next several weeks. There will be more to come.

April 22

This night at the end of the prayer furnace meeting, I found myself once again in the position of letting go of everything and completely trusting in God for my future and my present. My prayer was to live in the present, each day, one day at a time, one moment at a time asking Jesus for what to do next, following His voice and loving other people. I have a feeling that I will be doing something in Chicago that I don’t expect at the moment. I don’t know what it is yet, but it has something to do with my desire for the church to be free from religion.

Then I asked when that was to start and how I was to begin my work in Chicago and He said that I had several interesting things I was working on that I should continue to do until I was told that it was the right time to start something else. However, I need to hold on to my projects loosely and always be ready for the opportunity that will present itself when I don’t expect it.

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I have been challenged to commit to something and believe I have not yet embraced that challenge. Tonight, God spoke through a man that ‘I had to talk to’ who had spent much of his life avoiding commitments and was sad because he had never accomplished anything. However, he is now committed to one thing: his relationship with Jesus. That is what I once again committed myself to.

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In any case, I believe I am called to something big, but my focus is to be on something little. My call is the kingdom, my mission is love. Simply living honorably, acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God.

At this moment, I am perfectly at peace with my future because I know who has planned it and who will take care of me through it. Even though I don’t know the first steps, I know what will take me the right direction. Lord, give me the courage to walk that way even when no one else will join me. God will change the heart of His church through prayer. Through time spent with Him, through people who will give up their lives to Him. If I can live a life following Jesus example, I will be satisfied.